Dealing With Grief After Divorce? These Tips Can Help You Cope

Even in the best of circumstances, a divorce forces you to face a big loss in life. And, if you don't miss your former spouse, you may still grieve for the loss of the life you thought you would have. The good news is that grief is temporary, and you don't have to stay stuck in it. Consider these tips to help you process the complex emotion of grief.

Sometimes, you can just take a mental break from thinking about your divorce. Old-fashioned escapism has its place in your life while you grieve. This is not a long-term coping strategy, but it can be a short-term solution to feel better for the hour or the afternoon.

Try making a list of things that always make you feel better. Think about the last time you laughed or felt pure joy. Write about the things that have cheered you up when you've gone through tough times in the past. List things that you don't associate with your ex. Spend some time making a long list of ways to distract yourself with pleasure and joy-inducing activities.

You can simply admit that you are not okay. In fact, you find it weird if everything was sunshine and roses during a divorce. Acknowledge and honor the grief that you feel. As long as you actively work to process your emotions and don't just stay in one note of sadness and despair, try not to panic. Allow whatever emotion you feel to exist without judgment.

Although every individual may experience grief differently, some common elements tend to appear for most people who are grieving. Denial and anger tend to come up at some point. You may also find yourself imagining ways that you may be able to get back together with your ex, then the next day you might be angry and never want to see your ex again.

Just don't berate yourself for not feeling cheerful. A Harvard psychologist told The Washington Post that forced positive thinking can't lead to happiness. You must genuinely feel and process your emotions to get real relief.

No matter what you feel, just keep in mind that all feelings are temporary. Both the good and bad things you feel during the divorce will pass. If you don't try to force yourself to feel good when you're just not there, you can more quickly move past the bad feelings in a genuine way.

Take the time to write a long letter to your ex in which you say good-bye to them. Write it without the intention of sending it. That's because the main point of this exercise is to allow yourself to be completely open and uninhibited.

Give yourself as much time as you need to write the letter. In it, express to your ex all the things that fill you with anger or sadness. Also, try to express all the positive things that you will miss, and talk about all the good times you'll remember.

Grief is a monster of an emotion with many different facets and colors. Don't try to work your way through without help. Enlisting the help of an experienced psychologist is one way of showing love for yourself and being proactive about letting go of the pain you're in.

Remember that you are not alone if you are stuck in grief during or after your divorce. A counselor can help you move forward. Contact our caring team at Heritage Mental Health Clinic to take the next step in dealing with your grief. With the help of a supportive therapist, you can fully process the complexity of your grief and ultimately be free of it.